Hey y'all.

I'm feeling a bit better from Friday but I guess that's life and I've got to face it, right? Yep. So yeah. Every time I talk about it my voice totally cracks and I start to loose it. As in like go semi-mad. I know its over-reacting but I can't help it. It freaking hurts and I can't hide it. Whenever I hear a sad song that sounds like us, I break down. I can't hold it in. It's really cruel and rascist. Not her. Don't worry. I'd never say that about her. But anyway, I fake that smile all the time. In public I just smile about it. But there's not one single second that I don't think about it. I even have dreams of us getting back together and nightmares about us falling further apart. By posting this, I am not trying to get anu attention or extra love or anything. I just needed a place to blurt it all out.  So, sorry. But you have to admit, my life is quite interesting. Being the victim of rascism and all. So bye :-)  I feel happy now. Congratulations, girl. You just lost you best friend. Best achivement in your life. Sorry, just talking to myself there :-). Bye. Thanks for listening...